A Quick Note to Parents of Gay Kids.

Posted by on Jan 10, 2016 in LGBT, Love | 2 Comments
A Quick Note to Parents of Gay Kids.

This morning I watched a video of Pat Robertson giving advice to a mom about her gay daughter [below]. I was tempted to scroll past it because I knew it would more than likely get on my nerves. When I get bothered I am unable to keep it inside because I know there might be a parent out there hearing his advice and thinking it is the only option. That is not the case.  I was introduced to the 700 Club when my parents started watching it when I was little. I was/am the daughter with the “gay lifestyle” so I have experienced this advice first hand. I have spent the last few years doing my best to speak out for kids who are unable to. My goal is to promote one thing: LOVE. Genuine love for one another…not the “I love you BUT” kind of love that so many of us have recieved.

Let me tell you that this is one of the quickest ways to forfeit any type of healthy relationship with your kid in the present or in the future. This is a note for parents who tell your gay kid that they are going to burn in hell. It’s for parents who disown them & make them feel small because they are different. My advice is to please remember to try not to make it about yourself. Try to realize it took your kid a whole lot to get to the point of coming to you and that is brave no matter what age. Please see that they wanted to include you in their life. I understand it takes time after the initial coming out but once you’ve had time to process please don’t just say the words “I love you but…” then drop it and hope for the best. Honestly, it will not feel much like love at all. What it looks like is doing something you’re told to do, avoiding crucial conversations, pretending like things are fine, and continually missing opportunities to learn about someone important to you…YOUR KID.

Their life is passing you by and will continue going on without you as they grow up. Do not remain comfortable & trapped in fear. Please don’t wait until it is too late and they are gone. Don’t worry about what others in your church think. All your kid might have wanted was to be able to get to know you and you them. DO NOT LOSE THEM. We are all human. We all deserve to be ourselves and to be proud of who we are. Please be one of those parents who actually wants to know about our lives, our hearts and our passions. That is what matters. To read a little more on the topic and to read similar stories go check out my article “Loving A Gay Christian“. xo Steph

 

parents of gay kids steph grant

A Quick Note to Parents of Gay Kids.

2 Comments

  1. Steph Grant Photography FREE LGBT WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY by Steph Grant
    December 14, 2016

    […] shit together… and I …needed to get my shit together. I went to Arizona to do the hard work and tell my family what was going on and why I had gotten to a place where I felt I needed to end my life. I told my […]

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  2. Taylor
    December 18, 2016

    This is really well said. I have grown up in an extremely religious home. I walked away from my parents’ church a couple years ago. I never considered myself gay growing up, but I fell in love with the most awesome loving girl…ever lol. We are now engaged, i’m graduating college this spring with a bachelors degree in social work, and life is beyond beautiful. However, I remember that moment when I realized that I wanted to take the next step in my relationship with Beth (my fiancé). It was such a bittersweet moment because I knew that being with her in an open committed way meant never having my parents in my life the same way again. It was a huge loss, and it’s not only me who is sad but my whole family. The hardest part is knowing that it doesn’t even have to be this way. You are right, life did continue. I am growing and changing all of the time, and I am so incredibly thankful that being authentic despite the circumstances has given me more than I could ever have hoped for myself. It is just sad because there is so much time wasted with my family. Time that does’t have to be. My life is so full. I will never go out of my way to try to prove it to them or change my parents’ minds, but sometimes I wish I could just grab them and allow them to feel everything that I feel in my life. It is the warmest feeling. To the parents who will miss out, I feel truly sorry for you but will continue to be hopeful. To the LGBTQ community who must endure loss to simply have love, it is so worth.

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