25 November, 2018 WHITNEY + LINDSEY // TCU LESBIAN WEDDING
How long have you been together?
Tell us a little bit about what you both spend a majority of your time doing.
Whitney – We just purchased our first fixer-upper home together in a little pocket of Oak Cliff, Dallas. Most of our spare time currently goes toward renovating it and making it our own through a creative team effort. When we’re not doing that, you can catch us at the latest TCU sporting event, watching the most current blockbuster at Alamo Drafthouse, or trying a unique, local restaurant.
Lindsey – We are having a blast renovating our #DixerUpper – you should definitely check out the before videos. When we bought that thing it had roman columns and accents in literally every room and bathroom, it’s hilarious. Other than all the sports and movie watching and foodie adventures, most of my free time goes to my grad program at TCU which I attend in the evenings after work.
Whitney – Lindsey tried to bail on our first get-together and said she wasn’t feeling well. Rather than deterring me, I decided I was going to go take care of her and wasn’t one bit bashful about it. I picked up some dinner to-go and took it to her apartment, where she met me in the parking lot wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt. Right up my alley. Let’s also not forget how smitten I immediately was with her curly blonde locks, stunning blue eyes, and perfect smile. I knew I’d hit the jackpot.
Lindsey – Whitney is absolutely gorgeous. That’s what I remember first and foremost – and her comfort with pulling up, dinner in hand, and just floating up to my place (I was also taken aback that she just wouldn’t take no for an answer to our date). I think immediately beyond what I noticed about Whitney physically was her energy. She exuded profound warmth and empathy – in a way that supernaturally seemed to absorb my reticence like a sponge. I was in a profoundly sad place – which is why I tried to cancel our date. I’d just ended a long term relationship, and had really floundered on whether I was jumping back into the dating world too soon. At the urging of one my friend (and eventual Maid of Honor) Jenny I’d downloaded Tinder and that’s how we’d met / “matched” since I wasn’t really into the bar scene. Within minutes of being around Whitney I just felt so safe, calm, and at peace despite everything churning inside me emotionally. It know now that that is her incredible gift.
How did the proposal go down?
Whitney – I will let Lindsey explain this one because it’s the absolute best proposal ever.
Lindsey – My childhood was punctuated with really magical experiences during the summer visiting my Granddad and Grandma in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. Every time my brothers and sisters stayed, a treasure map would somehow appear and indicate that somewhere in the cove near their house, somehow, a pirate’s treasure had been hidden all these years never to be discovered. It was pretty much the coolest thing ever deciphering the clues in the map and searching for the treasure with my siblings. When I lived there one summer with my older brother, I stood out on the point of that cove and pictured myself proposing to the love of my life. At that time (as a 19 year old) there wasn’t an image in my mind’s eye of who that person might be.
Two years ago, my Granddad was diagnosed with very aggressive cancer. That summer, Whitney got to visit Victoria for the first time with me while I said good bye to him. We drove all around and explored my favorite places in Victoria, and I showed her the cove. By this time I knew Whitney would be the one, but I didn’t have a ring and with the somber tone of the visit it didn’t feel like the right time. My Granddad passed away shortly thereafter. The following summer, my dad called me somewhat last minute to say that he’d be going to Victoria to visit my Grandma and asked if we’d like to meet him there – and offered to fly us using airline points he’d accrued. I saw it as a sign! I went and designed/finalized the dream ring I’d made for Whitney and quickly put my plan into motion.
About 8 months earlier, we’d moved into our first home together. I’d sneakily put a glass “message in a bottle” decoratively on a shelf in our living room. On it, I’d written a note to Whitney on the day we moved in telling her that I was going to ask her to marry me someday. It sat there on that shelf for that long and she was never the wiser! So I had the ring, the message in the bottle, and I’d ordered two small treasure chests on the internet. One had fun pirate’s gold and jewels in it, the other would contain a map – which I still had to make. The next part was getting Whitney to Canada – easier said than done.
First, she wasn’t exactly thrilled to be going to the same place two summers in a row. Vancouver island is arguably one of the most gorgeous places on the planet – but as the adventurer type (like me) she was ready to spend our one big vacay of the year at a new destination, not the same place again. I managed to convince her to come along – thank goodness. Getting there was a different story. We had to take separate flights, unfortunately. Whit connected through Seattle, and in the terminal her purse was stolen. With her ID, passport, and wallet. SERIOUSLY. Meanwhile, I’d been in Victoria for a few hours, setting up a treasure hunt in the cove – just like my Granddad used to. I made an authentic looking map, and put it in the smaller treasure box. After hearing she was stranded, I frantically called both our Dads to see what we could do – could she even make it out of the US at this point?!
Miraculously, someone had turned in her purse at the gate counter. We were still on! She got in very late that night, and the proposal was good to go for the next morning. I woke up extremely early and went to hide the treasure. I was gone for quite a while, but luckily she didn’t get too suspicious. When I picked her up, I handed her the box with the map. I claimed to have driven by my Granddad’s house and said that someone gave it to me. She recognized the cove on the map immediately – then of course had to crack a joke about “what I do all day long with my time.”
We made our way down to the cove, but by this time Whit still believed this was just a cute/silly experience I’d created. She still had no idea a proposal was soon to happen. She took a little while to find the initial treasure chest – but that was just the first stop on the journey. Within that box was a second piratey message – “Get to the Pointe!” So we had a little further to hike. After climbing up natural bridges of driftwood logs and hopping over anenome filled tide pools, we finally made it to the point. We had a gorgeous panoramic view of the water, mountains in the distance, and huge pine trees. I handed Whit the glass bottle with the message inside. I asked her to read it out loud, including when I’d dated it. She read and recognized the date – and then read the message.
“I will always love you, I will always be proud of you – every single day. I hope one day that you’ll marry me.”
At that moment, I honestly don’t remember if I said anything else. I know I knelt, and I asked her to marry me. I remember that Whitney emphatically said yes, with many tears. The rest is a blur. I was so excited and the build up was so much – I was just so happy to finally ask her and to slide that ring on her finger. It was blinding in the sunlight. It still didn’t hold a candle to how beautiful she looked that morning. Proposal video HERE.
Whitney – For a long time, I’ve struggled with anxiety around public speaking, and for over a year, I worried about how I would manage reading my vows to Lindsey in front of 200 of our closest friends and family. Not only did I NOT panic during the ceremony, I actually felt blanketed in a spiritual peace and serenity that I had never experienced before. I am so grateful to have been fully present and collected and authentic in the emotion of what I was saying, rather than rushing to get through it because of fear.
Lindsey – Our vows, for sure. Whit made me both laugh and cry, like I knew she would. Her words were just beautiful. Our first dance was also incredibly special to me. It felt like we were the only two people in the whole world, and it was perfect how we planned to remix the end of the song so our wedding party and closest friends jumped in to kick up the “fun dancing” part of the night.
Whitney – Enjoy the process of creating your dream day together and bringing that vision to life. The day goes by in a FLASH, so try not to stress and have as much fun as you can.
Lindsey – What she said Don’t sweat the small stuff.
I would have given us more time to do our first look so we could really soak it all in and cherish that moment together.
Texas Christian University is where my parents’ love story began. I grew up stomping around all of the TCU football and basketball games, and it’s where my older brother was attending when I started college there playing basketball my freshman year. After I came out of the closet, I transferred to a different school and ran away from Fort Worth as fast as I could. I was absolutely terrified of what others thought and needed some space to figure myself out in a more socially liberal city.
My journey eventually brought me back to TCU for grad school, where I earned my master’s degree in Counseling Psychology. In that program, I found a remarkable tribe of people who accepted and embraced who I was and gave me the courage to do the same for myself. A year after I graduated, I met Lindsey, and she is now pursuing her MBA and EdD there. I could not be more proud of her and love bleeding our purple fandom together everywhere we go.
Choosing to hold our wedding ceremony there, to me, was a true testament to how my experience and perception of TCU have come full circle. Not only have I come a long way in my own spiritual growth and self-acceptance, TCU has made leaps and bounds in its efforts to show love and encouragement to all people from all backgrounds and all walks of life. The very place I feared and ran from was the one waiting for me, and my wife-to-be, with open arms and a loving heart.
Honest, open communication
Whitney – Over the last decade, I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing Steph’s photography career grow from our local Dallas scene to the world-wide stage. Not only is her talent first-class, but I am also immensely proud of the person she is and the values she embodies and beautifully represents.
Lindsey – I was lucky to meet Steph several years ago before knowing her as a photographer. I was floored as I came to know her as an artist and as she started to put her incredible photography out into the world – and all the much deserved attention it received! We simply couldn’t imagine anyone else capturing the most special day of our lives and we were so happy to share it with her. We’ve loved getting closer over the last couple of years through her events with the Promote Love Movement and impromptu gatherings to meet new people in the community. We truly feel within this process that we’ve gone from community acquaintances to life long friends!
Push play and enjoy my view from their day xo Steph
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